Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles de Gaulle

What do you take me for, an idiot?

Charles Caleb Colton

Shakespeare, Butler and Bacon have rendered it extremely difficult for all who come after them to be sublime, witty or profound.

Charles Simmons

Euphonic and harmonious expressions, forcible and just expressions, profound and comprehensive expressions, and especially apt and witty expressions, each have their specific influence upon different minds, and their common influence upon all minds.... It is therefore high time our most valuable aphorisms and paragraphs were put in order for frequent perusal, and for handy reference, as the circumstances of life call up subjects.

Ricky Gervais

Most people sitting at home aren't cool, successful, witty Hollywood stars, but they all worry about what people think of them when they faux pas.

Susan B. Anthony

Every woman should have a purse of her own.

Dave Barry

A long memory is the most subversive idea in America. A tautology is a thing which is tautological. A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention. If your kids look like you, it's hereditory. If they look like the neighbor, it's the environment. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Dave Barry

What I think is that the F-word is basically just a convenient nasty-sounding word that we tend to use when we would really like to come up with a terrific-ally witty insult, the kind Winston Churchill always came up with when enormous women asked him stupid questions at parties.

Dave Barry

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

Dave Barry

I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn.

Carlos Delgado

You've got to be smart to stay in this game. The quicker you learn, the quicker you succeed. You can't make the same mistakes over and over again.

Aaron Sorkin

Stupid people surround themselves with smart people. Smart people surround themselves with smart people who disagree with them.

Aaron Sorkin

Tell me what you think and then tell me what the really smart person in the room who disagrees with you thinks.

Alan King

My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'

Charlie Cox

We had no idea that this show [Daredevil] would be as popular as it was, but with the benefit of hindsight, one thing I can say is that I think that was a really, really smart move.

Charles Stross

Humans are just barely intelligent tool users; Darwinian evolutionary selection stopped when language and tool use converged, leaving the average hairy meme carrier sadly deficient in smarts.

Charles Stross

Life begets intelligence, intelligence begets smart matter and a singularity.

Isaac Bruce

When it was there, he took it. When it wasn't that was pretty much the end of it. It is just being a smart player.

Ricky Gervais

If you're surrounded by idiots, you're the unpopular one and the odd one out because idiots don't like smart asses.

Carol Vorderman

I've never once heard my mum shout and she's 83 now. She's incredible. She's very, very happy, slightly eccentric but loves laughing, which I do too.

Carlos Mencia

If you aren't laughing, you aren't living!

Alan King

Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.

Charlie Chaplin

We must laugh in the face of our helplessness against the forces of nature, or go insane.

Charlie Chaplin

Anyone can make them cry, but it takes a genius to make them laugh.

Charles Dickens

Make them laugh, make them cry, make them wait.

Ricky Gervais

Someone trying to be funny probably isn't as funny as someone who doesn't want to be funny but is and can't help it. Someone being serious or angry might be funny. If you get angry, the first thing I want to do is laugh because I don't know why you're getting that angry. Pathos makes me laugh, funerals make me laugh.

Ricky Gervais

I always chose all my friends on whether they were funny. What's a better way to pass the time than laughing or smiling?

Ricky Gervais

The world is not entirely comic and it's not entirely dramatic. You have a laugh and then someone finds a lump and you deal with that. Because that is what life is like.