Famous Quotes & Sayings

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Billy Corgan

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Engvall

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Bill Engvall

My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"

Bill Engvall

No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

Bill Engvall

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Stan Heath

Steven has a humorous side to him that you wouldn't expect. I see more of it this season. Life is more normal for him in some ways. He's opening up slowly.

Joanna Lumley

That's the staggering, humorous thing about money. If you haven't got taste, money doesn't matter: You'll always look ghastly.

Greg Evans

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break.

Justin Turner

Jamaal is real a humorous and entertaining guy.

John Cornyn

I think you'll probably see not only his erudition, but his sense of humor.

Charles Kingsley

If "ifs" and "ands" were pots and pans, there'd be no work for tinkers' hands

C. S. Lewis

There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.

Alan Coren

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

Al Capone

I don't even know what street Canada is on.

Bebe Neuwirth

One of the things that's great about doing a show over and over again... is that you have to find ways to make it spontaneous, as though everything is happening for the first time... to continue to mine the material and find new things.

Beck

I'm just taking one step at a time. I could zigzag one way, but it's not usually on purpose.

Becca Fitzpatrick

I saw you, and I wanted to be close to you. I wanted you to let me in. I wanted to know you in a way no one else did. I wanted you, all of you.

Billy Corgan

In a weird kind of way, music has afforded me an idealism and perfectionism that I could never attain as me.

Bill Shankly

Train the right way. Help each other. It's a form of socialism without the politics.

C. S. Lewis

If you haven't met Satan recently, you are probably going his way!

Cecil Rhodes

Pure philanthropy is very well in its way but philanthropy plus five percent is a good deal better.

Cecelia Ahern

Life has a way of getting what it wants when it really knows what it wants.

Carrie Fisher

My extroversion is a way of managing my introversion.