Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Dave Barry

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.

Dave Barry

One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.

Dave Barry

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.

Dave Barry

Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Aaron Tveit

I still sing every day - in the shower or on the set all day. I'm sure everyone will tell you that I never shut up. But it's not in the capacity that I would like to.

Chris Crutcher

There's only one thing to say to the censors: Shut up.

Ani Difranco

There isn't much I have to say, that I wouldn't rather just shut up and do.

Douglas Adams

Marvin started his ironical humming again. Zaphod hit him and he shut up.

Andy Warhol

I learned that you actually have more power when you shut up.

Ogden Nash

When you're wrong admit it, when you're right, shut up.

Esther Forbes

If you can't do, you'd best shut up about it.

Harvey Milk

I finally reached the point where I knew I had to become involved or shut up.

Moe Howard

Shut up and say something.

English 17th Century Proverbs

Walnuts and pears you plant for your heirs.

Horace

In the same [hospitable] manner that a Calabrian would press you to eat his pears.