Related Quotes
funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse.
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
funeral littles pay
Fame is an undertaker that pays but little attention to the living, but bedizens the dead, furnishes out their funerals, and follows them to the grave Charles Caleb Colton
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.
halloween people asking
I attributed their behavior to the fact that they didn't have a TV, but television didn't teach you everything. Asking for candy on Halloween was called trick-or-treating, but asking for candy on November first was called begging, and it made people uncomfortable. This was one of the things you were supposed to learn simply by being alive, and it angered me that the Tomkeys did not understand it. David Sedaris
halloween school white
I love Halloween. It reminds me of my happy childhood days as a student at Wampus Elementary School in Armonk, N.Y., when we youngsters used to celebrate Halloween by making decorations out of construction paper and that white paste that you could eat. Dave Barry
halloween hero doors
So when I open the door on Halloween, I am confronted by three or four imaginary heroes, such as G.I. Joe, Conan the Barbarian and Oliver North, who would look very terrifying except that they are three feet tall and facing in random directions. They stand there silently for several seconds before an adult voice hisses from the darkness behind them: "Say 'Trick or treat!
halloween wicked thumbs
By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes. William Shakespeare
halloween frozen world
Have you listened to the radio lately? Have you heard the canned, frozen and processed product being dished up to the world as American popular music today? Billy Joel
halloween party born
Being born on Halloween, there's always a party. It's a convenient birthday because you don't really have to organize a party. Eddie Kaye Thomas
halloween dressing-up costumes
I love Halloween and dressing up. I usually have at least three costumes. Audrina Patridge
halloween stupid holiday
Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the 'spirits' of things. A few years back, my wife was frustrated with the same old stupid sound effects tape we would play, which ends with the theme from 'Ghostbusters' and 'Monster Mash'. I told her that Halloween is way too cool a holiday to suffer through this every year. Dee Snider
halloween house scary
Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the "spirits" of things.
saws toilets scream
If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately understand that he meant you no harm?
saws necks deer
I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer Bo Burnham
saws fans looks
Fans always ask, What did the bedroom look like? All they ever saw was Alice or Ralph going in and out. Audrey Meadows
saws washington-monument catastrophe
Saw Washington Monument. Phallic. Appalling. A national catastrophe. Arnold Bennett
saws holes prove-it
You do angry. I just saw it. And you left at least one hole in my carpet to prove it. Deborah Harkness
saws firsts actors
I wanted to be an actor. I decided when I was very young, when I first saw movies, that I wanted to be an actor. Dennis Hopper
saws want shoulders
If you walk up to some random person on the street, grab them by the shoulder, and say 'Did you just see what I saw?!', you'll find that no-one wants to talk to you. Bill Murray
saws advantage
There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage. Carol Leifer
saws republican activist
I was a Republican, and I saw the activists and what they were doing; it was intolerable to me. Charlie Crist