Famous Quotes & Sayings

Alanis Morissette

I don't want to be your other half. I believe that one and one make two.

Alan Arkin

Marriage requires searing honesty at all costs. I learned that from my third wife.

Akio Morita

We treat employees as a member of the family. If management take the risk of hiring them, we have to take the responsibility for them.

David Sedaris

Hugh and I have been together for so long that in order to arouse extraordinary passion, we need to engage in physical combat. Once, he hit me on the back of the head with a broken wineglass, and I fell to the floor pretending to be unconscious. That was romantic, or would have been had he rushed to my side rather than stepping over my body to fetch the dustpan.

David Thewlis

I'd had a relationship with a French girl, a Japanese girl, an American girl, a Filippina and she was there all the time - a Lancashire girl. I thought: 'It's a Lancashire girl I was looking for. Why didn't I realize it?

Cary Grant

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it.

Lance Armstrong

Where to start? ... This has been a long, love-hate relationship between myself and the French.

Aimee Carter

I care," he said in a trembling voice. "I care so much that I do not know how to tell you without it seeming inconsequential compared to how I feel. Even if I am distant at times and seem as if I do not want to be with you, it is only because this scares me, too.

Billy Joel

You've given me the best of you, but now I need the rest of you.

Charles Dickens

Their demeanor is invariably morose, sullen, clownish and repulsive. I should think there is not, on the face of the earth, a people so entirely destitute of humor, vivacity, or the capacity for enjoyment.

Alan Bennett

So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.

Alan Bennett

Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.

Dave Barry

Please try not to be such a wiener-head.

Dave Barry

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremendous boredom.

Bryan Singer

Since I started making films, I've been a nut for dialogue. When I first saw Star Wars when I was 12 years old, I came home and recited all of the lines from it. Before I talked about Death Stars exploding and Tie Fighters I was talking about how funny Princess Leia was and how sarcastic Han Solo was. So to me that's always the most important thing, and I love hearing great actors say great lines.

Carlos Ruiz Zafon

I was very bored at school. I found it very easy and slow and grey. My teachers didn't really know how to handle me, because I was very sarcastic. I was over-confident, arrogant, a typical youngest child. I went through periods of withdrawing into myself and school psychologists tried to figure me out, work out why I didn't fit in. I found that irritating, too.

Bob Odenkirk

My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic.

Edith Sitwell

A great many people now reading and writing would be better employed keeping rabbits.

Eddie Izzard

The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.

Eddie Izzard

If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.

Antonin Artaud

Without sarcasm I sink into chaos.

Benjamin Franklin

Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor but the highest form of flattery.

Alexis Ohanian

I like sarcasm. I like snark.

Ashleigh Brilliant

I can do only one thing at a time, but I can avoid doing many things simultaneously.

Ashleigh Brilliant

The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering!

Ashleigh Brilliant

I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

Jane Austen

You have delighted us long enough.