Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Dave Barry

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.

Dave Barry

One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.

Dave Barry

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.

Dave Barry

Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Charles Sturt

It is to be feared that those who emigrate to New South Wales, generally anticipate too great facility in their future operations and certainty of success in conducting them; but they should recollect that competency cannot be obtained without labour.

Charles Spurgeon

Brethren, who are we that God should have been so good to us?

Alan Rickman

The audience should feel like voyeurs. Their response is absolutely crucial.

Aiden Wilson Tozer

Anything that God has declared that we should be we can be.

Chinua Achebe

Mr. Brown had thought of nothing but numbers. He should have known that the kingdom of God did not depend on large crowds. Our Lord Himself stressed the importance of fewness. Narrow is the way and few the number. To fill the Lord's holy temple with an idolatrous crowd clamoring for signs was a folly of everlasting consequence. Our Lord used the whip only once in His life - to drive the crowd away from His church.

Dave Barry

We should call editorials what they are: columns written by committees.

David Tepper

GM will do what's best for GM, and Delphi should do what's good for them.

Caitlin Moran

My core belief is that if you're complaining about something for more than three minutes, two minutes ago you should have done something about it.

Bryan Lee O'Malley

Oh, hey, maybe I should have mentioned that my friends are retarded douchebags.

Charles Caleb Colton

He who knows himself knows others.

Charles Dickens

I only know that it was, and ceased to be; and that I have written, and there I leave it.

China Chow

I'm so private and I don't know why!

David Mitchell

We are only what we know, and I wished to be so much more than I was, sorely.

David Murphy

You will never know your limitations until you find them.

Byron Katie

Ultimately, I am all I can know.

Jane Austen

Know your own happiness.

Scott Ishikawa

When you talk to the crews, everybody's tired, but at the same time everyone knows they rely on us to keep the roads open. I think we're doing our best. We're just going to keep trying.

Bill Joy

I was surprised about vi going in, though, I didn't know it was in System V.