Famous Quotes & Sayings

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Billy Corgan

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Engvall

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Bill Engvall

My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"

Bill Engvall

No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

Bill Engvall

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Jerry Magoon

Jerry was enthusiastically voted into the permanent position by the board.

Tom Cruise

Jerry Maguire: Jump in my nightmare, the water's warm!

Bill Gray

Jerry Lamb was one of my heroes. He wouldn't let us lose.

Peter Roth

Jerry is the architect; Jonathan is the contractor.

Dennis McNally

I think Jerry would be very pleased by this.

Jerry Rice

I think Jerry can still contribute, but it's got to be in the right situation.

Phil Jackson

He (Lakers owner Jerry Buss) knew what he was trying to get accomplished, but still in all, it never quite seems to match up.

Masayoshi Son

Jack, Jerry and I had been talking about the merger for a while, ... Jerry and I would like to leave the operation up to Jack. We trust his skills.

M. Thompson

We'd all like to thank Jerry for his many years of service. We can be very proud of what we've done.

John Gunter

I would've never thought that 40 pounds would make that much of a difference.

Brian Anderson

He runs a 4.9 in the 40, bench-presses 450 pounds and squats and dead-lifts over 600,

Billy Bob Thornton

I’m not much of a drinker, so I’m going to eat seven pounds of pork.

Carnie Wilson

Going from 300 pounds to 150 pounds was the biggest change of my whole life.

Stuart Gauthier

One tree can make 300 pounds of fruit.

David Parton

She weighed 16 pounds when we got here when she should have weighed 45.

Tom Ford

Keep your jacket buttoned. Always. It's just really flattering—it will take pounds off you.

Neil Cavuto

If Edwards gained 60 pounds and lost all his hair, he'd look like Dick Cheney!

Eric Shanteau

I don't know what cancer did to me but I put on probably 10 pounds of muscle and got a lot stronger in the weight room and during our dry-land stuff.

Jason Alexander

Jerry Seinfeld made a puddle, I stepped in it, and wonderful things happened.