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funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse.
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
funny age fifty
I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent.
birthday tin cold
Here I sit, alone at 60, Bald and fat and full of sin Cold the seat, and loud the cistern As I read the (Harpic) (Lysol) tin Alan Bennett
birthday children nice
My best kiss was on stage. Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child gave me a really nice soft kiss on my lips during a performance on my birthday. It was amazing. Chris Brown
birthday mom fashion
My mom won't let me buy high-fashion stuff unless it's TK Maxx or a birthday occasion. Chloe Grace Moretz
birthday nice party
It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?' David Sedaris
birthday sex eye
The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number. Dave Barry
birthday people age
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.
birthday age today
Today, you're 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!
birthday simple men
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
birthday stars fun
The main prank that we play with props is for people's birthdays. The special effects people will put a little explosive in the cake so it blows up in their face - that's always fun to play on a guest star, or one of the trainees or someone who's new. Catherine Bell
motivational things-in-life wish
The most important thing in life is to stop saying 'I wish' and start saying 'I will.' Consider nothing impossible, then treat possibilities as probabilities.
motivational best-friend friendship
True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost.
motivation joy novelty
Time is a corrosive fluid, dissolving motivation, destroying novelty, and leaching the joy from life. Charles Stross
motivational strength fear
It is said that our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength. Charles Spurgeon
motivation flower inspiration
If our faith can live without God, it is not divinely created. If God had begotten it, it would wait upon Him as the flowers wait upon the dew.
motivational trials teach
Trials teach us what we are.
motivational memories real
The power of memories and expectations is such that for most human beings, the past and the future are not as real, but rather more real than the present. Alan Watts
motivational men often-is
The point, which can hardly be repeated too often, is that differentiation is not separation. The head and the feet are different, but not separate, and though man is not connected to the universe by exactly the same physical relation as branch to tree or feet to head, he is nonetheless connected - and by physical relations of fascinating complexity.
motivational war heart
If we want justice for minorities and cooled wars with our natural enemies, whether human or nonhuman, we must first come to terms with the minority wand the enemy in ourselves and in our own hearts, for the rascal is there as much as anywhere in the 'external' world - especially when you realize that the world outside your skin is as much yourself as the world inside.