Famous Quotes & Sayings

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Billy Corgan

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Engvall

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Bill Engvall

My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"

Bill Engvall

No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

Bill Engvall

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Carrie Newcomer

Every night before I go to sleep I say out loud three things that I am grateful for, all the significant, insignificant, extraordinary, ordinary stuff of my life. It is s small practice and humble, and yet, I find I sleep better holding what lightens and softens my life every so briefly at the end of the day.

Carrie Underwood

I'm not worried. I'm just so grateful to be in the position that I'm in. I'm just going with the flow right now, and I think my album will come together quite nicely because I think everybody is on the same page.

Carrie Underwood

I'm grateful for every scar, some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned

Ashley Tisdale

I'm so grateful for what Disney gave me and the experiences that I got, but at the end of the day, I can do so much more than what I did on that channel and in those movies.

Cheryl Tiegs

I will not remarry. I'm so grateful for the marriages that I have had. I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't had those.

Ed Hutson

I thought, 'Oh, this is incredible, because that's where I was the previous day.' So, a lot of different thoughts went through my mind. I was grateful nobody got hurt.

Luz Hoyt

I'm so grateful to my mother for helping us out while we went through all of the paperwork. We wouldn't have been able to do it without her.

Friederike Boszko

I'm so grateful that you showed him your love.

Jill Takayama

I'm so grateful that my family's not here.

Juan Samuel

Some of the people called the guy dumb and stupid and said they didn't think he was going to make it.

Mickey Andrews

Playing hard and playing dumb is two different things.

Erik Crawford

I was a little slow rotating over there and made a dumb foul.

Rob Sheffield

That's the rub about 'Community' - for all the high-concept cleverness, it really comes down to vulgar humanism, the dumbest kind of sentimental identification. We watch it because we like these people and we miss them when they don't show up. They become part of the stories we tell ourselves.

Donald Trump

I think it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, ... in love with Adolph Hitler.

Shane Warne

I think that is one of the dumbest things I have ever seen,

Jerry Coleman

I don't feel quite as dumb as they make me look,

Bill Burgess

He just played dumb on the stand. He remembered some facts and didn't remember others.

Solomon Short

Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at