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funny pain philosophy
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain. Carol Leifer
funny men humans
It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.
funny waiting almost-done
Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done. Carl Friedrich Gauss
funny patience humor
Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. Agnes Repplier
funny women humor
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
funny sarcastic war
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. Abba Eban
funny marriage witty
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens? Alan King
funny-inspirational integrity technology
Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves. Alan Kay
funny girl humor
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl. Charlie Chaplin
friendship always-trying giving
It is the steady and merciless increase of occupations, the augmented speed at which we are always trying to live, the crowding of each day with more work than it can profitably hold, which has cost us, among other things, the undisturbed enjoyment of friends. Friendship takes time, and we have no time to give it.
friendship had-enough firsts
We know when we have had enough of a friend, and we know when a friend has had enough of us. The first truth is no more palatable than the second.
friendship dog want
I am not looking for a friend; if I want a friend I'd buy a dog. Alan Sugar
friendship sake foundation
If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship we must love friends for their sake rather than for our own. Charlotte Bronte
friendship dumb may
He may look dumb, but that's just a disguise. Charlie Daniels
friendship mood
I like friends as I like music - when I am in the mood.
friendship men age
I've arrived at the age where a platonic friendship can be sustained on the highest moral plane.
friendship regret years
One discovers a friend by chance, and cannot but feel regret that 20 or 30 years of life may have been spent without the least knowledge of him. Charles Dudley Warner
friendship wise men
The wise man does not permit himself to set up even in his own mind any comparisons of his friends. His friendship is capable of going to extremes with many people, evoked as it is by many qualities.
hilarious military flower
If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when there WAS a military conflict, everybody involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace Luncheon Dave Barry
hilarious pipes ran
wouldn't it be hilarious if he ran his pipes through (fill in the blank)? Preston Sturges
hilarious fun giving
When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back. Bill Watterson
hilarious people favors
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? Benny Hill
hilarious struggle cupcakes
Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. Bob Thaves
hilarious two cards
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator. Daniel Handler
hilarious lying ifs
If you have something to say and say nothing, you are really telling a lie. Ashleigh Brilliant
hilarious looks unexpected
Look how often the unexpected happens - yet we still never expect it.
hilarious believe fate
One possible reason that I don't believe in fate is that I wasn't fated to.