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funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature. Charles Dickens
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse. Charles Dickens
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions. Charles Dickens
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people. Charles Dickens
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home! Charles Dickens
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers. Charles Dickens
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
funny age fifty
I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent. Charles Caleb Colton
fathers-day father kids
I've never been part of anything so great as those three kids. Al Roker
fathers-day father eye
My father... had sharper eyes than the rest of our people. Chief Joseph
fathers-day dad missing
The nicest Father's Day surprise of all for Dad would be if you handed him a box, and he unwrapped it, and there, inside, sitting on a bed of folded tissue, was the pair of his undershorts that somebody threw away six months ago (without asking Dad) because they had reached the stage where they were 3 percent undershorts and 97 percent holes. Dad misses those undershorts. They were his Faithful Undershorts Companion. Dave Barry
fathers-day mother commitment
Far too often, we fathers avoid the subject because it's so awkward. The subject I am referring to is: buying gifts for women. This is an area where many men do not have a clue. Exhibit A was my father, who was a very thoughtful man, but who once gave my mother, on their anniversary, the following token of his love, his commitment, and-yes-his passion for her: an electric blanket. Dave Barry
fathers-day teenage love-you
Never love anything that can't love you back. Bruce Williams
fathers-day running home
Fathers have skills that they never use at home. You run a landscaping business and you can't dress and feed a four-year-old? Take it on! Louis C. K.
fathers-day kids long
When my kids were younger, I used to avoid them. I used to sit on the toilet 'til my legs fell asleep. You want to know why your father spends so long in the toilet? Because he's not sure he wants to be a father. Louis C. K.
fathers-day mistake kids
I found out that I'm a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know what I'm doing. But my kids love me. Go figure. Louis C. K.
fathers-day enemy i-love-my-dad
That is the thankless position of the father in the family-the provider for all, and the enemy of all. August Strindberg
dad believe thinking
When I was 11 years old and I was on a road trip with my family. I turned to my dad and said, "Do you believe in Adam and Eve?" And he said he didn't think so. I remember that felt like a slap in the face, because if my parents questioned Adam and Eve, then they potentially questioned everything within Catholicism. Eventually that idea led to my feeling liberated, but at that time it was very scary. Alanis Morissette
dad journey weather
The nearest my parents came to alcohol was at Holy Communion and they utterly overestimated its effects. However bad the weather, Dad never drove to church because Mam thought the sacrament might make him incapable on the return journey. Alan Bennett
dad grandfather together
My dad graduated seminary there, and so did (sounds like) Mark Kimball's grandfather. They sang in a quartet together, my dad and Mark Kimball's grandfather. Al Jarreau
dad believe wife
I'm a polygamist. I can afford to have as many wives as I can afford to have. All Africans believe in it. My dad has four wives. Akon
dads moms normal
We want them to have moms and dads and normal families. Nancy Long
dad player boston
My dad was all about music. He was a musician, leading a band when I was born. His band was active all through the 40s. He'd started it in the late 20s and 30s. According to the scrapbook, his band was doing quite well around the Boston area. During the Depression they were on radio. It was a jazz-oriented band. He was a trumpet player, and he wrote and arranged for the band. He taught me how to play the piano and read music, and taught me what he knew of standard tunes and so forth. It was a fantastic way to come up in music. Chick Corea
dad father hands
I pressed my father's hand and told him I would protect his grave with my life. My father smiled and passed away to the spirit land. Chief Joseph
dad hate rain
My dad hates umbrellas, said Deeba, swinging her own. When it rains he always says the same thing. 'I do not believe the presence of moisture in the air is sufficient reason to overturn society's usual sensible taboo against wielding spiked clubs at eye level. China Mieville
dad war world
I had old bunk beds that my dad got from Seabrook Farms. They were first used by German prisoners during World War II, who were sent to work the farms during the war. The metal beds with their thin mattresses could easily be used as a jungle gym and I loved them. David Mixner