Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Dave Barry

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.

Dave Barry

One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.

Dave Barry

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.

Dave Barry

Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Anais Nin

You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead.

Anthony Doerr

My sister-in-law is a painter, and I'll say, how long did it take you to paint that painting. She'll say, It took me maybe three days, but it took me all my life to get the skills to paint that painting.

Cassandra Clare

If the marriage were valid, she'd be your sister-in-law.

Jenifer Lewis

Whoopi and I have been friends ever since she claimed she couldn't sing on the set of Sister Act.

Jessica Mitford

I have nothing against undertakers personally. It's just that I wouldn't want one to bury my sister.

Phyllis Diller

My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.

Tim Daly

Well, I've seen a bunch of acupuncturists and one of my sister-in-laws is an herbalist. So I know a lot about alternative medicine. I don't know a lot about the practice but I know about the world.

Charles Dickens

I want to escape from myself. For when I do start up and stare myself seedily in the face, as happens to be my case at present, my blankness is inconceivable--indescribable--my misery amazing.

Charles Spurgeon

Hundreds would never have known want if they had not first known waste.

Charles Spurgeon

If we want revivals, we must revive our reverence for the Word of God.

Alanis Morissette

I want to walk through life.

Alan Watts

If you want to stay in a state of illusion, stay in it. But you can always wake up.

Alan Rickman

I approach every part I'm asked to do and decide to do from exactly the same angle: who is this person, what does he want, how does he attempt to get it, and what happens to him when he doesn't get it, or if he does?

Alan Greenspan

Amateurs want to be right. Professionals want to make money.

Alan Bean

I feel like there's too many paintings left unpainted that I just don't want to take the time away.

Alain Robert

I don't want to follow the herd.