Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Dave Barry

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.

Dave Barry

One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.

Dave Barry

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.

Dave Barry

Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Chord Overstreet

I love John Stamos. John's a really friendly, cool dude.

China Mieville

I'm a very friendly socialist.

David Cross

I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.

Marge Kennedy

Hard though it may be to accept, remember that guilt is sometimes a friendly internal voice reminding you that you're messing up.

Ed Koch

The most guileful amongst the reporters are those who appear friendly and smile and seem to be supportive. They are the ones who will seek to gut you on every occasion.

Charlotte Bronte

The ease of his manner freed me from painful restraint; the friendly frankness, as correct as cordial, with which he treated me, drew me to him

Charles M. Schulz

You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly..." "How about 'Dear Fatty'?

Boris Yeltsin

We remain friends, ... in a very friendly atmosphere.

Bobby Flay

A grill is just a source of heat. Just like a stove, it is very user-friendly.

Dave Barry

I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause.

David Talbot

Journalism is not just a cause, its also a wacky profession.

Kevin McCarthy

We are lowering our future revenue estimates modestly, which causes a slight decline in our earnings-per-share assumptions. Our fourth-quarter earnings estimate now is $1.45, down a penny, and our 2001 estimate is $4.90, down from $4.95.

Legal Maxim

Where the law is most strictly administered, it sometimes causes the greatest wrong

David Givens

When you start to see the emotional muscles contracting, you know there's some attraction. The muscles of the face are definitely emotional. The upper trapezius muscle is emotional, which causes you to flex your head and your shoulders.

Aiden Wilson Tozer

Every advance that we make for God and for His cause must be made at our inconvenience. If it does not inconvenience us at all, there is no cross in it.

Bo Burnham

I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me.

Billy Gibbons

Can't do it, simply cause underneath 'em is too ugly.

David Hume

Nothing exists without a cause, the original cause of this universe we call God.