Famous Quotes & Sayings

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Billy Corgan

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Engvall

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Bill Engvall

My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"

Bill Engvall

No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

Bill Engvall

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Patrick Ford

She didn't say anything, but you could tell it got to her. She didn't say anything about it, but Tuesday night, in the Cedar Ridge game, you could see it. At the end, she was unstoppable.

David Cook

I live for Tuesdays, and die by Wednesdays.

Amy Poehler

In the trial of Saddam Hussein on Tuesday, witnesses emotionally testified about the abuse the former dictator inflicted on them. Afterward, a tearful Saddam said, 'Ah, good times.'

A. A. Milne

On Tuesday, when it hails and snows, The feeling on me grows and grows That hardly anybody knows If those are these or these are those.

A. A. Milne

You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count.

Denis Norden

Dictum on television scripts: We don't want it good - we want it Tuesday.

Dick Cheney

I'm up in the Senate most Tuesdays when they're in session.

Devon Sawa

For instance, when I go to the premiere on Tuesday I probably won't watch the film at all - I'll be watching the audience just to see their reaction to different moments, what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong, stuff like that.

Charles Krauthammer

Tuesday's victory was big. But it did nothing more than level the playing field and give you a shot. Take it.

Richard Midgley

If we didn't win this game, Thursday would have been pretty insignificant.

Audrey Hepburn

Thursday? Oh no, it can't be! It's too gruesome.

Brad Adgate

Thursday is going to be a very, very competitive night,

Friedrich Nietzsche

I wasn't sure what day it was because life is meaningless. Turns out it's Thursday. The thing about life still applies.

George Herbert

Thursday come, and the week's gone.