Famous Quotes & Sayings

Carol Leifer

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Carol Leifer

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.

Carl Friedrich Gauss

Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done.

Agnes Repplier

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

Agnes Repplier

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Abba Eban

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

Alan King

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Alan Kay

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

Charlie Chaplin

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

Carl Andre

I was hanging out and drinking as long as I could afford it, or as long as somebody else could afford it.

Carl Andre

I never drove a car in my life. Given my drinking habits in those days, I would have been dead a long time ago - stumbling out of a bar at 4 a.m. and getting into a car.

Alan Kay

A new friend is new wine, when it grows old, you will enjoy drinking it.

Charles Dickens

Champagne is one of the elegant extras in life.

Charles Caleb Colton

There is not a little generalship and stratagem required in the managing and marshalling of our pleasures, so that each shall not mutually encroach to the destruction of all. For pleasures are very voracious, too apt to worry one another, and each, like Aaron's serpent, is prone to swallow up the rest. Thus drinking will soon destroy the power, gaming the means, and sensuality the taste, for other pleasures less seductive, but far more salubrious, and permanent as they are pure.

Brian Clough

I'm dealing with my drinking problem and I have a reputation for getting things done.

Bret Easton Ellis

When the going gets tough, the tough go drinking.

Bret Easton Ellis

There’s no use in denying it: this has been a bad week. I’ve started drinking my own urine.

Bret Easton Ellis

Writing a novel is not method acting and I find it easy to step out of it at cocktail hour.

Alan Thicke

If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you can certainly lighten the load, I think, by bringing that to your trials and tribulations. It's easy to have a sense of humor when everything is going well.

Charlie Chaplin

Quebec from the boat looked like the ramparts where Hamlet's ghost might have walked.

Charlie Chaplin

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Dave Barry

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.