Famous Quotes & Sayings

Evel Knievel

The other thing I wanted but never got to do had something to do with Liz Taylor but she's getting a little old and a little fat.

Charles Pierce

The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 a.m.

James Green Somerville

There are congressmen in our congregation, judges, federal reserve governors. And there are also people who are homeless and some who are mentally ill. To be able to talk to each of those people is something that I've had to learn how to do over the years.

Montel Williams

When you say shock value, the fact that we talk about what happened to a person... we talk about real things, we talk about real issues.

Montel Williams

No one tells every white person in this country how to be. No one tells every Hispanic, or Asian or Jewish person in this country how to be. There is no single definition of whiteness or single definition of blackness.

Montel Williams

We have an incredible national forest service, and we have an incredible child outreach program that the president has put together. I don't see anything wrong with national service for a minimum of two years. If we were to require that, we wouldn't need a draft.

Joel Hodgson

When we did the pilot, I sort of pictured this guy pirating a signal and then this story unfolding of him building this satellite and these robots and watching these bad movies.

Merv Griffin

Unless it's an emergency, don't bother me after 6:00 p.m. and on weekends.

Linda Vester

We're not as civilized as we think. And I wanted with my coverage really to drive that point home - because there's something we can do about it.

Charles Caleb Colton

Expect not praise without envy until you are dead.

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

Charles Simmons

Good Humor is the best shield against the darts of satirical raillery

Alan Watts

The reason we want to go on and on is because we live in an impoverished present.

Alan Moore

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Alan Alda

I've never tried to manipulate my image.

C. Northcote Parkinson

The smaller the function, the greater the management.

Brian Trehearne

The poetry was the man, the man was the poetry.

Benjamin Netanyahu

I'm not naturally manipulative.

David Hume

What would become of history, had we not a dependence on the veracity of the historian, according to the experience, what we have had of mankind?

Arne Glimcher

I've been told I'm a good midcareer manager.

Edward Everett

Ever the characteristic manners of cowardice.

Ed Koch

Whenever I leave Manhattan, I get the bends!

Edward Kennedy

Shamefully we now learn that Saddam's torture chambers reopened under new management, U.S. management.