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funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature. Charles Dickens
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse. Charles Dickens
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions. Charles Dickens
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people. Charles Dickens
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home! Charles Dickens
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers. Charles Dickens
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
funny age fifty
I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent. Charles Caleb Colton
hilarious military flower
If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when there WAS a military conflict, everybody involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace Luncheon Dave Barry
hilarious loneliness being-alone
I don't want to be alone, I want to be left alone. Audrey Hepburn
hilarious husband giving
I am truly not one to give advice. I'm divorced and I stole my best friend's husband. Denise Richards
hilarious fun giving
When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back. Bill Watterson
hilarious two cards
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator. Daniel Handler
hilarious lying ifs
If you have something to say and say nothing, you are really telling a lie. Ashleigh Brilliant
hilarious looks unexpected
Look how often the unexpected happens - yet we still never expect it. Ashleigh Brilliant
hilarious believe fate
One possible reason that I don't believe in fate is that I wasn't fated to. Ashleigh Brilliant
hilarious since tall
Since he's so tall and so big it was hilarious to see him do it. Quintyn Eldridge
4th-of-july enemy forgiving
Doing an injury puts you below your enemy; revenging one make you but even with him; forgiving it sets you above him. Benjamin Franklin
4th-of-july people small-packages
People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages. Benjamin Franklin
4th-of-july estates trade
He that hath a Trade, hath an Estate. Benjamin Franklin
4th-of-july thee shops
Keep thy shop, and thy shop will keep thee. Benjamin Franklin
4th-of-july sea tyrants
Moses lifting up his wand, and dividing the Red Sea, and Pharaoh in his chariot overwhelmed with the waters. This motto: "Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God." Benjamin Franklin
4th-of-july virtue ill
He is ill clothed that is bare of virtue. Benjamin Franklin
4th-of-july long wish
Wish not so much to live long as to live well. Benjamin Franklin
4th-of-july liberty wealth
Sell not virtue to purchase wealth, nor liberty to purchase power. Benjamin Franklin
4th-of-july noses wipe
Those who in quarrels interpose, must often wipe a bloody nose. Benjamin Franklin