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funny pain philosophy
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain. Carol Leifer
funny men humans
It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.
funny waiting almost-done
Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done. Carl Friedrich Gauss
funny patience humor
Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. Agnes Repplier
funny women humor
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
funny sarcastic war
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. Abba Eban
funny marriage witty
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens? Alan King
funny-inspirational integrity technology
Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves. Alan Kay
funny girl humor
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl. Charlie Chaplin
thanksgiving thankful gratitude
Reflect upon your present blessings Charles Dickens
thanksgiving blessing thankful-to-god
Perhaps it takes a purer faith to praise God for unrealized blessings than for those we once enjoyed or those we enjoy now. Aiden Wilson Tozer
thanksgiving gluttony occasions
Gluttony and surfeiting are no proper occasions for thanksgiving. Charles Lamb
thanksgiving attitude life-changing
Be grateful simply for being alive. When you are grateful for life, pure and simple, your life becomes one you can be grateful for. That may strike you as circular or even backward logic, but your attitude really does have an effect on how things work out. When you can't change your life any other way, you can still change your attitude. When you do, your life changes. You find more chances to love, and you will be surprised to see how much more love is returned to you. Bernie Siegel
thanksgiving real cooking
There are things you do because they feel right and they may make no sense and they may make no money and it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other and to eat each other's cooking and say it was good. Brian Andreas
thanksgiving christian strong
Measured by the standards of men of their time, [the Pilgrims] were the humble of the earth. Measured by later accomplishments, they were the mighty. In appearance weak and persecuted they came -- rejected, despised -- an insignificant band; in reality strong and independent, a mighty host of whom the world was not worthy destined to free mankind. Calvin Coolidge
thanksgiving country holiday
Americans are gluttons. We shop with forklifts. We have a holiday where we stuff food into other food. Our strippers wrestle in Jell-O, where other countries have to use mud. Bill Maher
thanksgiving friday monday
You may have heard of Black Friday and Cyber Monday. There's another day you might want to know about: Giving Tuesday. The idea is pretty straightforward. On the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, shoppers take a break from their gift-buying and donate what they can to charity. Bill Gates
thanksgiving country being-thankful
There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin. Craig Ferguson
stupid parent dyslexia
Though my parents assured me over and over again that I wasn't stupid or slow, I sensed that my dyslexia was now a stigma on all of us. Carre Otis
stupid comedian sophisticated
What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes. Carlos Mencia
stupid people world
The problem with the world is there's too many stupid people and nobody to eat them.
stupid culture firsts
For the first time, the weird and the stupid and the coarse are becoming our cultural norms, even our cultural ideal. Carl Bernstein
stupid film made
I just didn't see films when I was young. I was stupid and naïve. Maybe I wouldn't have made films if I had seen lots of others; maybe it would have stopped me. Agnes Varda
stupid strategy should
No plan can prevent a stupid person from doing the wrong thing in the wrong place at the wrong time - but a good plan should keep a concentration from forming. Charles E. Wilson
stupid dull-life people
Ghosts were just a way that some stupid people dealt with their dull lives. Charles de Lint
stupidity would-be fraud
There are some frauds so well conducted that it would be stupidity not to be deceived by them. Charles Caleb Colton
stupid painful difficult
When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid. Ricky Gervais