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funny pain philosophy
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain. Carol Leifer
funny men humans
It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.
funny waiting almost-done
Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done. Carl Friedrich Gauss
funny patience humor
Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. Agnes Repplier
funny women humor
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
funny sarcastic war
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. Abba Eban
funny marriage witty
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens? Alan King
funny-inspirational integrity technology
Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves. Alan Kay
funny girl humor
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl. Charlie Chaplin
motivational sports years
You hear the same thing every year but that is because it is true. In a short series, pitching is very dominant. Carl Erskine
motivational evil force
Those that set in motion the forces of evil cannot always control them afterwards. Charles W. Chesnutt
motivational determination order
I never could have done what I have done without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one subject at a time. Charles Dickens
motivational things-in-life wish
The most important thing in life is to stop saying 'I wish' and start saying 'I will.' Consider nothing impossible, then treat possibilities as probabilities.
motivational best-friend friendship
True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost. Charles Caleb Colton
motivational strength fear
It is said that our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength. Charles Spurgeon
motivational women law
There never will be complete equality until women themselves help to make laws and elect lawmakers. Susan B. Anthony
motivational athlete kids
And then ultimately what I tell the kids is: coaches can give you information, they can give you guidelines, and they can put you in a position. But the only person who can truly make you better is you. Brandi Chastain
motivational baseball team
Don't worry about your individual numbers. Worry about the team. If the team is successful, each of you will be successful, too. Branch Rickey
hilarious military flower
If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when there WAS a military conflict, everybody involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace Luncheon Dave Barry
hilarious pipes ran
wouldn't it be hilarious if he ran his pipes through (fill in the blank)? Preston Sturges
hilarious fun giving
When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back. Bill Watterson
hilarious people favors
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? Benny Hill
hilarious struggle cupcakes
Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. Bob Thaves
hilarious two cards
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator. Daniel Handler
hilarious lying ifs
If you have something to say and say nothing, you are really telling a lie. Ashleigh Brilliant
hilarious looks unexpected
Look how often the unexpected happens - yet we still never expect it.
hilarious believe fate
One possible reason that I don't believe in fate is that I wasn't fated to.