Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Dave Barry

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.

Dave Barry

One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.

Dave Barry

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.

Dave Barry

Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Charles Spurgeon

These heavy troubles are heralds of weighty mercies.

Chinua Achebe

There are things the story must have or else look incomplete. And these will almost automatically present themselves. When they don't, you are in trouble and then the novel stops.

Chinua Achebe

The trouble with Nigeria is simply and squarely a failure of leadership,

Chief Joseph

I labored hard to avoid trouble and bloodshed.

David Tang

If you are a friend of somebody and that friend is in trouble, you don't just drop them.

Chad Everett

If not for my family, I would have been in big trouble.

Edith Stein

Usually one gets a heavier cross when one attempts to get rid of an old one.

Dean Acheson

The trouble with a free market economy is that it requires so many policemen to make it work.

Bertrand Russell

As soon as we abandon our reason and are content to rely on authority, there is no end to our troubles.

Charles Caleb Colton

Atheism is a system which can communicate neither warmth nor illumination, except from those fagots which your mistaken zeal has lighted up for its destruction.

Alan Watts

Change is an illusion because we're always at the place where any future can take us.

William Congreve

Where modesty's ill manners, 'tis but fitThat impudence and malice pass for wit.

Bill Robinson

What success I achieved in the theatre is due to the fact that I have always worked just as hard when there were ten people in the house as when there were thousands. Just as hard in Springfield, Illinois as on Broadway.

Dick Durbin

Illinois Senator Paul Simon, once said "The test for a Supreme Court nominee is not where he stands on any one specific issue. The test is this: Will you use your power on the court to restrict freedom or expand it"?

Carol Moseley Braun

Illinois has less than a 12 percent black population and I won with 55 percent of the vote.

Alan Keyes

I accept the Republican nomination for the U.S. Senate, to represent the State of Illinois.

Bill Lipinski

I am committed to working with Speaker Hastert and the other members of the Illinois congressional delegation to do all that I can to ensure that Illinois' funding needs are adequately met.

Steve Rauschenberger

What he's going to do I think is stretch out the payment cycle. What he's going to do is essentially make the providers of the state of Illinois pay for it by paying them more re-imbursements and more slowly.