Scott Adams
Scott Adams
Scott Raymond Adamsis an American cartoonist, creator of the Dilbert comic strip and the author of several nonfiction works of satire, commentary, business, and general speculation...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionCartoonist
Date of Birth8 June 1957
CityWindham, NY
CountryUnited States of America
stupid giving choke
When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.
giving mail messages
I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.
giving marketing use
The marketing department uses many advanced techniques to match products and buyers in a way that mximizes profits. For example, they give away keychains.
giving advice trying
I try to avoid giving advice.
best stir
When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it.
looking warm
This year, we are looking for a warm day in the 30s.
humor technology mail
I get mail; therefore I am.
business smart differences
Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
worry
You can hose it down and never have to worry about it.
commonly complete computer crystal facts known methods predicting referred tarot tea waste
There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as "nutty methods." Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time.
ask bother chair nobody wake walking
I don't even bother walking to the couch, because there's nobody going to come in and see me. When I wake up I ask myself if I feel like working, and if I do, I get back in the chair and I work. If I don't, I do something else.
erase thousand
One "oh shit" can erase a thousand attaboys
five people quicker realize speed top
One thing people don't realize is that you take off a lot quicker than you could ever stop. You can get up to 100 in five seconds, but that top speed back to zero, it doesn't brake as well as it accelerates.
fact gotten life realize touched
Certainly, he's touched my life and the fact that he's gotten better and was able to play again, makes me realize that what I do makes a difference,