Scott Adams
Scott Adams
Scott Raymond Adamsis an American cartoonist, creator of the Dilbert comic strip and the author of several nonfiction works of satire, commentary, business, and general speculation...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionCartoonist
Date of Birth8 June 1957
CityWindham, NY
CountryUnited States of America
funny jobs expectations
Crackpot is an excellent job because the expectations are so low. No one ever tells crackpots that they should be doing more.
smart humor matter
No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.
speak-english goats speak
We know the goats are imported because they don't speak English.
believe people religion
The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day. This is why people of different religions can generally live in peace. At some level, we all suspect that other people don't believe their own religion any more than we believe ours.
funny business damage
The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
laughing misfortunes-of-others exception
As a rule, I don't like to laugh at the misfortune of others. The exception to that rule is if it's really, really funny.
technology life-is problem
Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones. But that's O.K. because the most you can expect from life is to get to solve better and better problems.
years guy important
You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
inspiration risk promotion
The only risk of failure is promotion.
running food firsts
The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.
inspirational business long
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
believe people normal
Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
cat pet pay
There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.
reality internet
I'm surrendering myself to the realities of the Internet.