Scott Adams
Scott Adams
Scott Raymond Adamsis an American cartoonist, creator of the Dilbert comic strip and the author of several nonfiction works of satire, commentary, business, and general speculation...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionCartoonist
Date of Birth8 June 1957
CityWindham, NY
CountryUnited States of America
life keys keyboards
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
lines cynicism fine
There's a fine line between participation and mockery.
drunk boss stupidity
If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.
thinking labs rats
Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.
coffee thinking doctors
Recently I quit caffeine. My doctor seems to think that 17 Diet Cokes per day is too much. In case you ever consider getting off caffeine yourself, let me explain the process. You begin by sitting motionlessly in a desk chair. Then you just keep doing that forever because life has no meaning.
coffee lakes beavers
I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.
funny witty kids
I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't.
believe gun should-have
I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
sex thinking neurons
You probably think Stephen Hawking is in that wheelchair because of a motor neuron disease. But if you got as much barely-legal student poontang as The Hawkster, you'd be in a wheelchair too.
kids parent president
If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.
sex father
He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.
running able
Why aren't you signed up for the 401K? I'd never be able to run that far.
fall inspiration years
Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.
funny-work marketing lines
There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.