Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
husband medicine sloth
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.
husband coffee sloth
Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn't keep him awake - even when it's hot and being spilled on him.
sloth pills laziness
Once Fang took pep pills and they worked - the only time he ever ran to bed.
giving sloth trials
Everybody knows how much time Fang spends in bed. A local store that gives a 30 days' trial on mattresses gives Fang only 15 days.
skills sloth laziness
I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, "You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed."
get-well sloth lazy
Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.
beautiful sloth together
When he proposed he said, "We'll make such beautiful music together," but in this duet, his part seems to be all rests.
advice follow work
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.
drops food ties
Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator
american-comedian head pro reason tells
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
american-comedian walker
You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.
best joke
If that's the best joke in the world, then I've never had a face-lift.
chore home prepared stage studio tremendous tv
He was very much at home in the TV studio or on stage live anywhere; that is where he really lived. And, you know what, it was never a chore for him. It was never nerve-racking. He was always so completely prepared by his tremendous organization that he had put together,
air time
He was in the air most of the time ... on the air, in the air, one way or the other. It was his thing and this was his airport.