Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
funny wedding dog
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
birthday age funny-birthday
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
funny family mom
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
funny dog nails
Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German Shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, "Attack!" And he has one. All he does is piddle. He's nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks.
funny sides onions
I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
inspirational funny witty
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
mom witty funny-inspirational
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
funny dog stoves
Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
funny beach humor
When I go to the beach, my grandchildren try to make words out of the veins in my legs. That's why I still take the pill; I don't want any more grandchildren.
funny hilarious mom
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
funny anniversary marriage
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
funny hilarious witty
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
funny mom mother
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
advice follow work
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.