Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg
Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth24 February 1968
CitySaint Paul, MN
CountryUnited States of America
funny life witty
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
funny hilarious witty
I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
funny witty dirty
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
funny witty silly
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
funny witty clever
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
funny witty laughter
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
bite body emergency kit snake
I snake bite emergency kit is a body bag.
sick time
I sick of "soup of the day" it's time we made a decision, i want to know what "soup from now on" is
suitcase
I've always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist.
bad bite body bought buy emergency friend front money opening paid repair snakes start stepped worry
Sometimes I make some money doin' comedy. I made $3000 opening for the Neville Brothers, and they paid me in cash, so I had $3000 in my front pocket. That was a bad situation, because then I start to buy ridulous sh**. Like, I bought a snake-bite emergency repair kit. Then I said to my friends, 'Don't even worry about snakes anymore.' Then my friend stepped on a worm, I said, 'Lay down.' Snake bite emergency repair kit... is a body bag.
comedy dangerous gonna people pick wave
Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. 'Look what I got... This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick somethin' up.'
american-comedian dancer drive imagine morse tap understand
I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
belt holds loops pants
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. So which ones the real hero?
american-comedian belt holds loops pants
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. So which one is the real hero?