Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg
Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth24 February 1968
CitySaint Paul, MN
CountryUnited States of America
years want comedy
When you start out in comedy, or probably in a lot of things, you want it to happen fast. You don't want to see yourself having to do this for seven years before you start to get some feedback.
guy want arms
I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I have to tell them something that is going on. "What time is it, Mitch?" "Uh, that guy is eating a hamburger." "Shi*, I had to be somewhere..."
funny humor want-something
I put fruit on top of my waffles, because I want something to brush off.
forever done want
I like baked potatoes. I don't have a microwave oven, and it takes forever to bake a potato in a conventional oven. Sometimes I'll just throw one in there, even if I don't want one, because by the time it's done, who knows?
guy want likes
If you boat a lot, you're known as a boating enthusiast. I like to boat, but I just don't want to ever be referred to as a 'boating enthusiast'. I hope they call me 'a guy who likes to boat'.
funny humor want
I don't want to have my face on the cover of a Wheaties box. I wanna have my face on the cover of a Rice Krispies box. "Snap, Krackle, Mitch and Pop"!
funny humor want
I got binoculars 'cause I don't want to go that close.
funny humor want
If you want to talk to me after the show, I'd be surprised.
mcdonalds want rebellious
I want to be a rebellious McDonald's owner. Cheeseburgers... NOPE... we got spaghetti!
funny humor want
I want to get non-aerosol mace, you just rub it in. "Dude who is attacking me - come a little closer!"
funny humor want
I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.
bite body emergency kit snake
I snake bite emergency kit is a body bag.
sick time
I sick of "soup of the day" it's time we made a decision, i want to know what "soup from now on" is
suitcase
I've always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist.