Mike Birbiglia
Mike Birbiglia
Mike Birbigliais an American comedian, writer, actor, and director...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth20 June 1978
CityShewrsbury, MA
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor
I'm a compulsive everything.
funny humor two
Two Drink Mike enjoys dancing and knows a magic trick. Whereas, No Drink Mike enjoys biographies, and has serious opinions on wildlife. And Five Drink Mike... dances with wildlife.
funny humor america
I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay. And signed autographs for people who've been gone from America for so long they didn't realize that I'm not famous.
funny humor men
I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No... got any Snapple?'
funny humor america
Some people come up to me and say "You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia" And I say "Well, here in America, you're annoying..."
funny humor garden
My family isn't really Italian. We're more like Olive Garden Italian.
funny baby humor
I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.
funny believe humor
I was made to believe that my life was going to be fixed and it wasn't. I'm still the same loser who had flown to Los Angeles on my sister's frequent flier miles just six days before.
funny hate humor
I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, "Do you guys hate me?"
funny self-esteem humor
So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I had been meaning to knock it down to negative 1000.
funny cocky humor
I went to a funeral recently, and they handed out Kleenex before the funeral. Which I thought was cocky.
funny dad humor
I didn't realize how good I was with technology until I met my parents... my dad told me "You're good; you should be a computer programmer." I said, "You're bad... you should be a caveman."
funny humor race
I'm a whitebread cracker. That's my favorite white person slur: "whitebread". The other day, someone came up to me and said, "What's up, whitebread?" And I was like, "That's not even an insult. That's just my race plus a food. I can do that, too, black bean soup! Stay out of this, Asian chicken platter!"
funny humor thinking
I try to think up material that might apply to the subjects they are studying. How many mitochondria does it take to power a cell? One. Because mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell. Not ready for prime time, that one.