Merrill Markoe
Merrill Markoe
Merrill Markoe is an American author, television writer, and sometime standup comedian...
ProfessionScreenwriter
Date of Birth13 August 1948
dog kids grandpa
I always hated those classic kid movies like Old Yeller or The Yearling where the beloved pet dies. What would be so wrong with having those damn kids learn their lessons about mortality from watching Grandpa kick? Then at least the dog would be around to comfort them.
dog might taught
You just never know when it might be cookie time. And, that is what the dogs have taught me.
dog home intelligent
We are pretty sure that we and our pets share the same reality, until one day we come home to find that our wistful, intelligent friend who reminds us of our better self has decided a good way to spend the day is to open a box of Brillo pads, unravel a few, distribute some throughout the house, and eat or wear all the rest. And we shake our heads in an inability to comprehend what went wrong here.
dog children self
My dogs, the only creatures on the planet marked by my singular nurturing imprint, have all turned out to be rude and self-absorbed. In all likelihood, if they were children instead of dogs, I would have foisted more Charlie Sheens or Kardashians onto our crumbling culture.
dog sadness ceilings
I sometimes look into the face of my dog Stan and see a wistful sadness and existential angst, when all he is actually doing is slowly scanning the ceiling for flies.
country hip leads
No one would argue against the fact that L.A. leads the country in opportunities for being hip and pretentious.
american-musician episode guide seen tv
I, too, have never seen an episode of Moesha, and even more amazing, I have never even read a TV Guide description of an episode.
It's just like magic. When you live by yourself, all of your annoying habits are gone.
american-musician few guys hats last men notice remove stuff sunglasses thick
A few last men to beware: guys who won't remove their hats and sunglasses - they think you're too thick to notice the stuff they think they're hiding.
begin conversation figure potato salad time trying waste
If you begin a conversation about potato salad and find yourself being called a castrating bitch, don't waste your time going around and around about this with your girlfriends, trying to figure out what happened.
care smells time
If he smells stinky or doesn't have time to call, it probably isn't because he's so busy. It's because he doesn't really care what you think. Period.
reality two males
I really enjoyed Merrill Markoe's Guide To Glamorous Living, which was a weird hybrid reality/sketch thing I wrote, directed, and hosted, with two male-model bimbos whom I made agree with everything I said.
writing years effort
When you have been writing for a lot of years, you have to make an effort not to start repeating yourself. It occurred to me that I tended to tread certain ground automatically, because it was comfortable, but that there were areas I avoided automatically because they made me nervous.
self awareness transparency
When anyone lacks self-awareness and doesn't recognize their transparencies, it's always funny.