Mark Twain

Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
liars lying math
Figures don't lie, but liars figure.
math science years
We could use up two Eternities in learning all that is to be learned about our own world and the thousands of nations that have arisen and flourished and vanished from it. Mathematics alone would occupy me eight million years.
math science return
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
science math men
Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and come down-you don't hear nothing; you see the ax go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk!-it had took all that time to come over the water.
dog math names
Wherefore, I beseech you let the dog and the onions and these people of the strange and godless names work out their several salvations from their piteous and wonderful difficulties without help of mine, for indeed their trouble is sufficient as it is, whereas an I tried to help I should but damage their cause the more and yet mayhap not live myself to see the desolation wrought.
learning trouble wages
What's the use you learning to do right, when it's troublesome to do right and ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
against dog home mama pack time trunk turns wife
When a man's dog turns against him it is time for a wife to pack her trunk and go home to mama
convict conviction known man people settled
When a man is known to have no settled convictions of his own he can't convict other people
advertises brings fig leaf modesty statue suspicion
The statue that advertises its modesty with a fig leaf really brings its modesty under suspicion
christian nations spite
The so-called Christian nations are the most enlightened and progressive, but in spite of their religion, not because of it
editor excellent meddle needs perfect political serve shall term
I shall not often meddle with politics, because we have a political Editor who is already excellent and only needs to serve a term or two in the penitentiary to be perfect
generalize sample single stop
The world will not stop and think- it never does, it is not its way; its way is to generalize from a single sample
building hold insane people run sane shut tried
The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people but if we tried to shut up the insane we would run out of building materials.
building hold humanity insane materials people run sane shut tried
The way it is now, the asylums can hold all the sane people but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials