Lewis Black

Lewis Black
Lewis Niles Black is an American stand-up comedian, author, playwright, social critic and actor. He is known for his angry face and his belligerent comedic style, in which he often simulates having a mental breakdown. Black's comedy routines often escalate into angry rants about history, politics, religion, or any other cultural trends. He hosted the Comedy Central series Lewis Black's Root of All Evil, and made regular appearances on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart delivering his "Back in Black"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth30 August 1948
CitySilver Spring, MD
CountryUnited States of America
Nyquil comes in two colors, red and green, and it's the only thing on the planet that tastes like red and green.
Equestrian, by the by, is the gayest word in the English language. In fact, I thought Brokeback Mountain should have been called Two Equestrians.
It's a big thing now: A lot of people want to be assistants to celebrities. If you're pursuing that, you're an idiot. You're a moron. The shortest distance between two points is not a celebrity, or being next to a celebrity.
There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever.
We have a two-party system: The Democratic Party, which is a party of NO ideas, and the Republican Party, which is a party of BAD ideas.
I was home alone watching George Bush speak on television. So it was just really the two of us. And as I listened to him, I realized, that one of us... was nuts! And for the first time ever, I went, 'Wow, it's not me!'
The only thing dumber than a Democrat or a Republican is when those pricks work together. You see, in our two-party system, the Democrats are the party of no ideas and the Republicans are the party of bad ideas. It usually goes something like this. A Republican will stand up in Congress and say, 'I've got a really bad idea.' And a Democrat will immediately jump to his feet and declare, 'And I can make it sh*ttier.'
Being a playwright is like the equivalent of doing a jigsaw puzzle that has 1,500 pieces, and it's a jigsaw of a blue sky. Not a cloud in sight.
Why would you hire MTV to do music? MTV has nothing to do with music, ok? MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken. MTV is video, and video goes where? In your eye, music goes in your ear. Ear eye, eye ear, big f***ing difference! Music is like a drug, when you hear it you have a vision, and that vision can change over time or remain the same.
I'm going to make my transition to weatherman soon,
If you want to elect Bush, that's the prick that I'm gonna yell about. If you want to elect John Kerry, I'm gonna be yelling about him. My problem is with authority.
And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to yea' - but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye.
My hate of Apple has moved into a hate of Facebook.
I hammer on a theme until I'm tired of it and the audience is tired of it.