Lewis Black

Lewis Black
Lewis Niles Black is an American stand-up comedian, author, playwright, social critic and actor. He is known for his angry face and his belligerent comedic style, in which he often simulates having a mental breakdown. Black's comedy routines often escalate into angry rants about history, politics, religion, or any other cultural trends. He hosted the Comedy Central series Lewis Black's Root of All Evil, and made regular appearances on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart delivering his "Back in Black"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth30 August 1948
CitySilver Spring, MD
CountryUnited States of America
I went to New Zealand this year, and, whew man, I know a lot of people want to go there. But let me just tell you, it's 22 hours by plane. So, if you have the opportunity, don't.
Let me be serious: divorce is a sacred institution between a man and a woman who hate each other. God wanted Adam to pay alimony to Eve, not Steve.
I'm a selfish, little pig of a man.
Johnny Vassilaros is the man who has created the finest cup of coffee ever served in the city of New York.
When they played, it wasn't music. It was the sound of chaos. I knew it was the sound of chaos because you could hear pigs being slaughtered. Women were weeping and men were gnashing their teeth, and there were sounds so horrible that I cannot repeat them to you, or you would flee from this room in horror!
Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!"
Being a playwright is like the equivalent of doing a jigsaw puzzle that has 1,500 pieces, and it's a jigsaw of a blue sky. Not a cloud in sight.
Why would you hire MTV to do music? MTV has nothing to do with music, ok? MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken. MTV is video, and video goes where? In your eye, music goes in your ear. Ear eye, eye ear, big f***ing difference! Music is like a drug, when you hear it you have a vision, and that vision can change over time or remain the same.
I'm going to make my transition to weatherman soon,
If you want to elect Bush, that's the prick that I'm gonna yell about. If you want to elect John Kerry, I'm gonna be yelling about him. My problem is with authority.
And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to yea' - but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye.
My hate of Apple has moved into a hate of Facebook.
I hammer on a theme until I'm tired of it and the audience is tired of it.
The Droid I had actually seemed to have free will, which I thought was interesting.