Judith Martin
Judith Martin
Judith Martin, better known by the pen name Miss Manners, is an American journalist, author, and etiquette authority...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth13 September 1938
CountryUnited States of America
silly civilization rude
GENTLE READER: You, sir, are an anarchist, and Miss Manners is frightened to have anything to do with you. It is true that questioning the table manners of others is rude. But to overthrow the accepted conventions of society, on the flimsy grounds that you have found them silly, inefficient and discomforting, is a dangerous step toward destroying civilization.
silly ideas people
The idea that people can behave naturally, without resorting to an artificial code tacitly agreed upon by their society, is as silly as the idea that they can communicate by a spoken language without commonly accepted semantic and grammatical rules.
people
People read informality as, 'Do whatever you feel like,' and whatever you feel like might be disastrous.
children sounds stage
My children did not go through a stage of being rude to their parents. I'm sorry if that sounds incredible.
american-author civilized fit fresh society
We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.
fear obviously
Obviously I'm going to be polite, so nobody has anything to fear from me.
clothing high realize
The language of clothing is high symbolism and we all, in moments where we need to know this, realize it.
added means people simply useful wonderful
The mistake people keep making is that if they find a wonderful new tool, like email, they have to give up all others. They don't. You have simply added another very useful means to your communications repertoire.
life paying personal presents whom
Presents are symbolic. When you give them in your personal life, they should show that you are paying attention to the person to whom you're giving them.
becomes commonly deleted erase evidence people showing wiser
We're now seeing email that people thought they had deleted showing up as evidence in court. You can't erase email. As that becomes more commonly realized, people will be a little wiser about what they type.
freedom unless work
Freedom without rules doesn't work. And communities do not work unless they are regulated by etiquette.
etiquette hermit human matters reasonably social somebody worry
Etiquette is all human social behavior. If you're a hermit on a mountain, you don't have to worry about etiquette; if somebody comes up the mountain, then you've got a problem. It matters because we want to live in reasonably harmonious communities.
amount render subscribe
Etiquette does not render you defenseless. If it did, even I wouldn't subscribe to it. But rudeness in retaliation for rudeness just doubles the amount of rudeness in the world.
The greater the controversy, the more you need manners.