John Bradshaw
John Bradshaw
stars powerful shame
The most paradoxical aspect of neurotic shame is that it is the core motivator of the superachieved and the underachieved, the star and the scapegoat, the righteous and the wretched, the powerful and the pathetic.
powerful feelings way
Condemning others as bad or sinful is a way to feel righteous. Such a feeling is a powerful mood alteration and can become highly addictive.
frightened walked
When I walked out of the seminary, I was 31, but I was like a scared, frightened kid. I had no place to live, no license, no clothes. I was just a lost soul.
figure fires modern satan
The figure of Satan and the fires of hell have been demythologized by modern Christian biblical scholars, theologians and philosophers.
act family instead kid marriage models needy nurturing people role strong tried
In my family, as in all dysfunctional families, instead of parents who act as strong and nurturing role models for their children, you get these needy people who use their children. I was the kid who tried to take on the marriage.
consider embrace people tools ultimately work
I try to get people thinking, to consider their pasts and presents, ultimately encouraging them and giving them the tools to embrace the work of reshaping their lives.
calling false hope modern offer power programs selves tap touch toxic unlimited
The unlimited power that many modern gurus offer is false hope. Their programs calling us to unlimited power have made them rich, not us. They touch our false selves and tap our toxic shame.
books differs formulas offer people quick solutions tidy work
Many self-help books give you these neat, tidy formulas that are really illusions. They dupe people into thinking, 'Well if I can just do that, then everything's going to be okay.' My work differs in that I don't offer quick solutions and simple explanations.
broken conscious define fully good somebody understand
I define a 'good person' as somebody who is fully conscious of their own limitations. They know their strengths, but they also know their 'shadow' - they know their weaknesses. In other words, they understand that there is no good without bad. Good and evil are really one, but we have broken them up in our consciousness. We polarize them.
subject
The idea of evil is always subject to denial as a coping mechanism.
allowed express therapy
As a child I was not allowed to express my feelings, so I had to go back through therapy and express the child's pain.
affect argue education element feeling simply technical word
In 'Reclaiming Virtue,' I argue that we have had an element missing in moral education. That element is 'affect.' Affect is simply the technical word for feeling or emotion.
underlying
In a sense, all of my books have been about a 'poisonous pedagogy,' which engenders a culture of obedience, this underlying theme of patriarchal systems.
express learned opportunity worthwhile
I think it was a very worthwhile meeting. I feel we learned a lot and I feel we had the opportunity to express our opinions.