Quotes by 'Joe E. Lewis'

Joe E. Lewis

Joe E. Lewis, born Joseph Klewan in New York City, was an American comedian and singer...

drinking ice alcohol

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

drinking doctors great-alcohol

I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.

drinking forget drink

I drink to forget I drink.

drinking dirty scotch-whisky

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

drinking beer loss

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.

funny drinking beer

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

man money poverty-and-the-poor

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

friends-or-friendship man

If you want to make a dangerous man your friend, let him do you a favor.

american-comedian asks whenever

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.

work

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

men maturity feet

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.

friendship pests needs

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

people genius right-time

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.

money believe boys

Boys, I have been rich and I have been poor, and believe me being rich is better.