Jeff Foxworthy
Jeff Foxworthy
Jeffrey Marshall "Jeff" Foxworthyis an American stand-up comedian, actor, television and radio personality, author, and voice artist. He is a member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, a comedy troupe which also comprises Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall, and Ron White. Known for his "You might be a redneck" one-liners, Foxworthy has released six major-label comedy albums. His first two albums were each certified 3× Platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America. Foxworthy has written several books based...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 September 1958
CityAtlanta, GA
CountryUnited States of America
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they'll spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we're gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don't know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to walk out onto the porch and go Hey baby? Man, it's hot as hell out here! Look, don't worry about emptyin' that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I'm gonna take a nap now.
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?
Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
We don't do that here. We only take urine samples.
You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
I teach a Bible study for homeless guys in downtown Atlanta every week. Been doing it for years. That's the guys I'd rather go talk to. I'd rather take my act outside the church.
When I first started out, being from the South and going to New York or Chicago, people kept telling me to get voice lessons and 'lose that stupid accent you got.' And I'm like, 'Well, where I come from, you have the stupid accent.'
I never thought I would do a game show, but now I guess I'm now officially in that genre.
We're all screwed up. And the way Christians mess things up is we act like we've got it going on. And if we would just stay in that place of, 'Hey, we're all screwed up and but for the grace of God, none of us have a shot here.' We need to have a sense of humor about it; that's kind of the way I've always faced my comedy.
If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
You don't have anything; you don't own anything.