Jasper Carrott
Jasper Carrott
Jasper Carrott, OBEis an English comedian, actor, television presenter, and personality...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth14 March 1945
billy broke comedians hit max thousands
When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don't think I can be above it all.
genius sensible i-can
I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.
music media radio
I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.
funny dog thinking
I am cursed with a right leg that arouses the desire of any male dog that happens to be passing. I used to think that this only happened to me but I've discovered that many people have the same problem. They have a femme fatale limb.
simple satisfaction-in-life feet
I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy.
eye class working-class
I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.
unhappy being-unhappy
Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy.
useless cooks
I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.
running mind way
There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson.
people wonder signing-autographs
Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them.
men numbers phones
They put up this bloke's picture on Crimewatch UK with a phone number and said 'Have you seen this man?' Well my auntie rang them up and said 'No'.
happiness laughter medicine
Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.
abundance articles based columnist humour national newspapers
I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers based on the humour that is in abundance in the game, which is more than can be said of tennis.
few known rounds stevie time wonder
I have been known to play a few rounds in my time. I'm not obsessive; I don't play in the dark, but even that's not out of the question because Stevie Wonder is also a golfer.