George Carlin
George Carlin
George Denis Patrick Carlinwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 5–4 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth12 May 1937
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] "Look, they nearly missed!" "Yes, but not quite.
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
The person who is most a part of me is the performer, is the standup, the guy who says, "Hey look at me, listen to this!" I do that because that's what I do, I love doing it.
I've never had a 10, but one night I had five twos
The word bipartisan means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out
Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror
Cop didn't see it, I didn't do it!
Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws (at most an occasional visit to the cemetery)
Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day