George Carlin

George Carlin
George Denis Patrick Carlinwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 5–4 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth12 May 1937
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase.
Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
You ever notice that? Any time you see two groups of people who really hate each other, chances are good they're wearing different kind of hats. Keep an eye on that, it might be important.
Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
People are wonderful. I love individuals. I hate groups of people. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. And armbands. And fight songs. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking.
I've never had a 10, but one night I had five twos
The word bipartisan means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out
Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror
Cop didn't see it, I didn't do it!
Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws (at most an occasional visit to the cemetery)
Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball
I enjoy watching reruns of Saturday Night Live and counting all the dead people