Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck
Erma Louise Bombeckwas an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life from the mid-1960s until the late 1990s. Bombeck also published 15 books, most of which became bestsellers. From 1965 to 1996, Erma Bombeck wrote over 4,000 newspaper columns, using broad and sometimes eloquent humor, chronicling the ordinary life of a midwestern suburban housewife. By the 1970s, her columns were read twice-weekly by 30 million readers of the 900 newspapers in the U.S...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth21 February 1927
CityBellbrook, OH
CountryUnited States of America
All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.
It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have...One pair that see through closed doors. Another in the back of her head...and, of course, the ones in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and reflect 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word.
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. BY all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
At some point in your life, if you're lucky, you throw practicality to the wind and start living.
Have you any idea how many kids it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say, "What light?" and two more to say, "I didn't turn it on.
I was going to have inner peace if I had to break a few heads to do it.