Ellen DeGeneres
Ellen DeGeneres
Ellen Lee DeGeneres is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, and producer. Degeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998, and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003...
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth26 January 1958
CityMetairie, LA
dog funny oh
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?...Noooo...as funny as that is, I'm not
fun ray studio
It's not in the studio ... That's all I can say. It's Ray Romano and Alicia Keys. It's something we thought would be fun to do.
funny baby humor
I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
funny letters hanging-out
What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dikk is hanging out.
funny romance waterfalls
Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink.
funny powerful thinking
You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's why it's hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.
funny life procrastination
Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
funny people strange
I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.
inspirational funny humor
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
funny-relationship breathing littles
You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, 'Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it's so repetitious.'
funny-inspirational oysters voice
I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners. But there was always a voice saying, You should be doing something different. And it was usually my boss and I was being fired.
funny sorry hate
Don't you hate when people are late to work. And they always have the worst excuses. "Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, traffic." "Traffic, huh? How do you think I got here; helicoptered in!?"
funny stress lions
I don't want to take a pill. Go to Africa, go follow some bushman around. He's being chased by a lion. That's stress. You're not going to find a pygmy on Paxil, I'll tell you that right now.
funny college looks
I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I'm a huge celebrity.