Dave Barry
Dave Barry
David McAlister "Dave" Barryis a Pulitzer Prize winning American author and columnist, who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comedic novels...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth3 July 1947
CityArmonk, NY
CountryUnited States of America
humorous names warning
WARNING: This is assuming your spouse's name is Margaret.
war alcohol great-depression
After the war, Prohibition was passed, and with liquor no longer legally available the nation plunged headlong into the Great Depression.
florida warning way
In South Florida, we have industrial cockroaches that have to be equipped with loud warning beepers so you can get out of their way when they back up.
war literature stones
I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
war race names
If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.
depressing war levers
The United States tried, by depressing the clutch of diplomacy and downshifting the gearshift lever of rhetoric, to remain neutral, but it became increasingly obvious that the nation was going to get into a war, especially since it was almost 1812.
war years sea
During bomb drills, we students were told to crouch under our desks. Apparently the desks used in classrooms in the fifties were made of an exceptionally missile-resistant variety of wood. During the Cold War years I often wondered why it never occurred to our defense planners to protect the entire nation from nuclear attack by simply covering it, from sea to shining sea, with a huge Strategic Classroom Desk.
mean needs warning
Technically, Windows is an "operating system," which means that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop operating.
war humorous painful-death
What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America, or Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II.
war world united-states
Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II.
war metrics metric-system
Nobody in the United States knows what either a "meter" or a "kilogram" is. The whole reason why we fought the Cold War was so we wouldn't have to learn the metric system.
war funny-thanksgiving years
Proper turkey preparation is critical. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, more Americans die every year from eating improperly cooked turkey than were killed in the entire Peloponnesian War. This is because turkey can contain salmonella, which are tiny bacteria that, if they get in your bloodstream, develop into full-grown salmon, which could come leaping out of your mouth during an important business presentation.
war marijuana giving
The whole thing about whether you smoke marijuana or not is so ridiculous. That and whether you protested the Vietnam War. Give me a break. Especially the marijuana thing.
cigarette contain drop overnight sales warning zero
Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said ""CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT.