Dave Barry
Dave Barry
David McAlister "Dave" Barryis a Pulitzer Prize winning American author and columnist, who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comedic novels...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth3 July 1947
CityArmonk, NY
CountryUnited States of America
tv-news personality stories
I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.
thinking drawing perfect
Think, for a moment, of the countless happy childhood hours you spent with this amazing device: Drawing perfect horizontals, drawing perfect verticals, drawing really spastic diagonals, trying to scrape away the silver powder from the window so you could look inside.
perfect-days world obsession
What's happened to marriage? The wedding-industrial complex. Brides get swept up in this world of obsession - it has to be your perfect day.
children perfect-parents excellent
A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.
falling-in-love zero-gravity percent
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
hour limit miles national per pretend speed
For many years the National Pretend Speed Limit was fifty-five miles per hour (metric equivalent: 378 kilograms per hectare.)
animal cow dropped fastest feet per scientists speed top
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.
computer mean word
USER, n.: The word computer professionals use when they mean 'idiot.'
domestic life people walks work
You get people from all walks of life here -- who work in domestic service.
both dark fairly socks
Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or they should at least both be fairly dark
assume asteroid common earth hammer happens hits involving judging laboratory realistic
What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.
basically choking data device duck equipped global network noise
What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo
excellent name rock
'Varlet and the Squeaking Codpieces'' would be an excellent name for a rock band.
bringing crazy gotta line taking
I gotta tell you, ... It's pretty crazy when you think about taking whatever's on the other end of that line and bringing it in here.