Dave Attell
Dave Attell
Dave Attellis an American stand-up comedian, writer and actor, best known as the host of Comedy Central's Insomniac with Dave Attell and The Gong Show with Dave Attell. Born in Queens, New York, he grew up in Rockville Centre, New York with his cousins the Small family and now lives in New York City...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth18 January 1965
CityQueens, NY
CountryUnited States of America
Dave Attell quotes about
sex animal men
Men are having sex with animals and we wonder why the animals attack us. And I'll tell you why: it's cuz of that one sick man, and it's up to me and a half-mexican to stop him.
sex funny-relationship thinking
Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? 'Damn I got to get the hell out of here! What was I thinking!'
beautiful sex confused
Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man.
beautiful horse sex
If I was to have sex with one animal it would be a horse. That is a beautiful animal. And when you have sex with a horse, you know you always have a ride home.
sex animal people
Even now, as we speak, people are having sex with animals. And we wonder why the animals attack us.
chicken combine eat
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish, ... You know what you should do? Combine them ... eat a penguin.
I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
people
Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.
tvs
I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.
people television shows
I keep getting these people at my shows who only know me from television. I can always tell when they're, like, emotionally flinching when I start doing my jokes.
wanted
I never wanted to be famous.
type performers
I'm not like a performer type.
stars thinking
I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.
funny girlfriend discovery
I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I've discovered? I need a girlfriend.