Chris Rock
Chris Rock
Christopher Julius "Chris" Rock III is an American comedian, actor, and producer...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 February 1965
CityAndrews, SC
funny humor guy
You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
funny war humor
I ain't shooting nobody, so call me a faggot. When the war's over, I'll be the faggot with two legs.
funny humor water
Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.
funny humor diploma
You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma.
funny hate humor
I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!
funny humor remember
Remember when we was young, everybody used to have these arguments about who's better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won!
funny rap humor
If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! "This is a rap killing. Let's go home!"
funny humor men
Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check ... is wealthy. "Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. Bling, bling!"
funny book humor
Community college is like a disco with books: "Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!"
funny humor two
Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
funny humor ghetto
I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.
funny humor liquor-stores
Not a Harvard-type education, ... Just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.
funny running humor
I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'
funny humor thinking
Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council.