Bill Maher
Bill Maher
William "Bill" Maher is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, media critic, and television host. As a television host, he is well known for the HBO political talk show Real Time with Bill Maher. Maher previously hosted a similar late-night show called Politically Incorrect, originally on Comedy Central and later on ABC...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth20 January 1956
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
When those myths were created, when the Bible was written, man didn't know what an atom or a germ was, or where the sun went at night, or why the women got pregnant. [Laughs.] They needed stories to answer the questions.
New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker last night personally rescued a woman from a burning building. Or as Fox News reported it, 'black man loots house, steals white woman.'
There were two Republican responses to the State of the Union. So if you watched the whole night, it was kind of evolution in reverse. You have Obama, then Paul Ryan, and then Michele Bachmann. Then Animal Planet had a squirrel monkey give his take.
I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and I was saying, 'Bring back the lip synch.' ...And it struck me that Ashlee Simpson is a lot like George Bush-because she wouldn't even really be in the big leagues if it wasn't for family connections, and she's in way over her head. And she doesn't know what to do. And she blamed her band.
All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex.
The great thing about having been poor is how liberated it makes you if you eventually become rich. There's nothing like the knowledge that you don't need money to survive. That the money cushion you lie on every night doesn't have to be three feet thick, and you can still get to sleep.
There is a big difference between a disappointing friend and a deadly enemy. Of course the Democrats are disappointing. That's what makes them Democrats. If they were any more frustrating they'd be your relatives. But in this country they are all that stands between you and darkest night. You know why their symbol is the letter 'D'? Because it's a grade that means good enough, but just barely. You know why the Republican symbol is 'R'? Because it's the noise a pirate makes when he robs you and feeds you to a shark.
Bob Dole admitted he used cocaine when he was in college, but then Coca-Cola changed its formula.
We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.
Mike has been a superb ambassador for Canisius College and has made significant contributions to the school over his 18 years as a head and assistant coach.
Like you're in the showroom, about to either buy that car or walk out, and they're the salesman, saying ""What do I have to say to get you in this car?
I have determined that we have not made the progress we expected and that it is in the best interest of Canisius College and our men's basketball program that we seek new leadership.
Right, ... I'm helping Bush. My man. My main man.
I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you're not married and having children, it's like your life is empty or you're a communist meanie.