Bill Maher
Bill Maher
William "Bill" Maher is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, media critic, and television host. As a television host, he is well known for the HBO political talk show Real Time with Bill Maher. Maher previously hosted a similar late-night show called Politically Incorrect, originally on Comedy Central and later on ABC...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth20 January 1956
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
Just be happy that something traveled 5,000 miles across the Pacific and, for once, it wasn't your job.
This is America. We don't call an election before we know who won. That, after all, is the job of the Supreme Court.
Ted Cruz, of course, was furious that the big storm back east shut down the government. He said, 'That my job!' But you know, there is a big difference between Ted Cruz and snow. Both are white and everyone’s sick of them – but eventually snow goes away.
We've created over 200,000 jobs every month this year. Hasn't happened in 17 years. I guess my first question is, when do the Republicans stop calling it 'Obama's economy'?
The other financial genius, John McCain, said the fundamentals of our economy are strong, and then yesterday he wanted to fire the head of the SEC -- except you can't as president fire the SEC chairman, it's a non-governmental job. Sarah Palin said today one more gaffe from McCain, and she's going to drop him from the ticket.
I want to always be an interloper. I never want to feel like I'm a guy who is embraced by the people who are putting me on the air. I want to feel like I broke into the studio and took over and made them mad. If I'm not doing that, I'm not doing my job.
And he said that 47%-that's pretty high-47% of Americans are basically welfare bums who are mooching off the government. And then he said, 'My job is not to worry about those people.' You know, where do people get this stuff that Mitt Romney is a heartless, calculating c**ksucker?
New Rule: News organizations have to stop using the phrase: "We go beyond the headlines." That's your job, dummy. You don't see American Airlines saying, "We land our jets on the runway"!
I believe only foreigners should run for president...Face it, the presidency is a lousy job. And who does lousy jobs we don't want anymore better than foreigners?
When did the business community in America become so sensitive? ... that we have to treat like some type of rare exotic animal - don't startle them or they'll fly away!...we need to soothe them so they can nest here and lay their magic eggs full of jobs! - WHICH NEVER HATCH BY THE WAY!!!...
God knows life sucks. It's right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, "I can't take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me."
I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt? -timecode 1:11:10
Herman Cain answered the Wall Street protesters, and he had a message for these protesters. He said, 'If you don't have a job, if you're not rich, don't blame Wall Street, don't blame the banks, blame yourself.' And a nation of out of work teabaggers said, 'Yeah! Hey, wait a minute.'
Bob Dole admitted he used cocaine when he was in college, but then Coca-Cola changed its formula.