Amy Chua
Amy Chua
Amy L. Chuais an American lawyer and author. She is the John M. Duff Jr. Professor of Law at Yale Law School. She joined the Yale faculty in 2001 after teaching at Duke Law School for seven years. Prior to starting her teaching career, she was a corporate law associate at Cleary, Gottlieb, Steen & Hamilton. She specializes in the study of international business transactions, law and development, ethnic conflict, and globalization and the law and is noted for her...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMemoirist
Date of Birth26 October 1962
CityChampaign, IL
CountryUnited States of America
I'm willing to be different than other parents and go against the mainstream.
I really feel that most things are difficult at the beginning and they become fun, something you love, only after you've worked at them. Making children do something hard can, in the long run, be a great parental service.
I do not think there was anything abusive in my house. Yet, I stand by a lot of my critiques of Western parenting. I think there's a lot of questions about how you instill true self-esteem.
Some people don't need parental commitment, they will still come out great, but for others, parents can be critical in providing moral and academic guidance.
I was raised by extremely strict - but also extremely loving - Chinese immigrant parents, and I had the most wonderful childhood! I remember laughing constantly with my parents - my dad is a real character and very funny. I certainly did wish they allowed to me do more things!
I saw my parents come over. They were immigrants, they had no money. My dad wore the same pair of shoes, I had some ugly clothes growing up, and I never had any privileges. In some ways, I think the person that I am now, I think it's good that I had that kind of tough upbringing.
In Chinese culture, it wouldn't occur to kids to question or talk back to their parents. In American culture, kids in books, TV shows and movies constantly score points with their snappy back talk. Typically, it's the parents who need to be taught a life lesson - by their children.
Westerners often laud their children as 'talented' or 'gifted', while Asian parents highlight the importance of hard work. And in fact, research performed by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck has found that the way parents offer approval affects the way children perform, even the way they feel about themselves.
What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. pg 29
All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.
To be honest, I know that a lot of Asian parents are secretly shocked and horrified by many aspects of Western parenting.
Parenting cannot just be one size fits all.
Don't assume your child is weak. If you, the parent, assume that they can't take anymore, what kind of signal are you sending them?
My goal as a parent is to prepare you for the future, not to make you like me.