Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth24 June 1842
CityMeighs County, OH
CountryUnited States of America
HASH: There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.
PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.
RAREBIT n. A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not a rabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explained that the comestible known as toad-in-a-hole is really not a toad, and that riz-de-veau à la financière is not the smile of a calf prepared after the recipe of a she banker.
Rhubarb: essence of stomach ache.
TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.
A chop is a piece of leather skillfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants.
The wife, or bitter half.
Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
The most offensive egotist is he that fears to say "I" and "me." "It will probably rain " that is dogmatic. "I think it will rain" that is natural and modest. Montaigne is the most delightful of essayists because so great is his humility that he does not think it important that we see not Montaigne. He so forgets himself that he employs no artifice to make us forget him.
Convictions are variable; to be always consistent is to be sometimes dishonest.
Wisdom is known only by contrasting it with folly; by shadow only we perceive that all visible objects are not flat. Yet Philanthropos would abolish evil!
While you have a future do not live too much in contemplation of your past: unless you are content to walk backward the mirror is a poor guide.