Alfie Kohn
Alfie Kohn
Alfie Kohnis an American author and lecturer in the areas of education, parenting, and human behavior. He is a proponent of progressive education and has offered critiques of many traditional aspects of parenting, managing, and American society more generally, drawing in each case from social science research...
ProfessionNon-Fiction Author
Date of Birth15 October 1957
children parents
Most parents want to know what they can do to make their children do as they're told,
children teaching responsibility
In short, with each of the thousand-and-one problems that present themselves in family life, our choice is between controlling and teaching, between creating an atmosphere of distrust and one of trust, between setting an example of power and helping children to learn responsibility, between quick-fix parenting and the kind that's focused on long-term goals.
running children thinking
Some who support [more] coercive strategies assume that children will run wild if they are not controlled. However, the children for whom this is true typically turn out to be those accustomed to being controlled— those who are not trusted, given explanations, encouraged to think for themselves, helped to develop and internalize good values, and so on. Control breeds the need for more control, which is used to justify the use of control.
children strings-attached perspective
Most of us would protest that of course we love our children without any strings attached. But what counts is how things look from the perspective of the children
children book numbers
The value of a book about dealing with children is inversely proportional to the number of times it contains the word behavior.
children tasks problem
If a child is off-task...mayb e the problem is not the child...maybe it's the task.
children order feet
Sometimes we have to put our foot down, ... but before we deliberately make children unhappy in order to get them to get into the car, or to do their homework or whatever, we need to weigh whether what we're doing to make it happen is worth the possible strain on our relationship with them.
children mistake feelings
If children feel safe, they can take risks, ask questions, make mistakes, learn to trust, share their feelings, and grow.
children taken rights
Children, after all, are not just adults-in-the-making. They are people whose current needs and rights and experiences must be taken seriously.
children learning decision
Children learn how to make good decisions by making decisions, not by following directions.
constantly control gold good parent spanking sticker ways whether
We think of ways that we can control them, whether it be with a spanking or a gold sticker or a parent constantly saying, 'Good job, good job, good job.'
argue arguing learn point stand welcome
You have to welcome their arguing with you, not to the point of disrespect, but if they are going to stand up for themselves, they need to learn to argue effectively,
connections students thoughtfulness
John Dewey reminded us that the value of what students do 'resides in its connection with a stimulation of greater thoughtfulness, not in the greater strain it imposes.
accomplishment people healthy
Those who know they're valued irrespective of their accomplishments often end up accomplishing quite a lot. It's the experience of being accepted without conditions that helps people develop a healthy confidence in themselves, a belief that it's safe to take risks and try new things.